you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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