I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize