Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
