just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
