I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
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