why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
