Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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