Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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