We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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