i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
