i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
No subtext here. People are naked.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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