i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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