Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
