Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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