marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Randomize
