there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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