last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
