This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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