Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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