But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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