I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
