so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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