btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
