we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
