And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize