you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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