ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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