so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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