Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
