i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
