Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
