so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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