did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
