I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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