Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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