is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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