Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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