i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
