Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
