I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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