I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
