My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
