I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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