The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
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