Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Your cock deserves a montage
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
