The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
