where am i from again
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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