when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
