I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
