she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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