our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
