I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
