You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
