you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize