Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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